BPD Characteristic #1 & #2: Fear of Abandonment and Unstable/Changing Relationships
Fun fact:I have not been single for more than three months since I was 16. On senior night in college, when the seniors in my sorority parade around the bars wearing superlative sashes, I proudly displayed one that said, “SERIAL MONOGAMIST.” Something we all joked about turns out to be a response to my fear of abandonment. I was quickly on to the next boyfriend as soon as I could so I didn’t feel alone. I am terrified of being single. I don’t mind alone time, but it has shown true that if my husband and I are in a tiff, I worry he is finally going to throw his hands in the air and say, “I give up, we’re done.” Because I am so scared of being unattached romantically, I also have been known to do and say things I don’t mean, essentially to get the reaction of “no, I love you, I’m not going anywhere.” Looking back on my first love in high school, I definitely loved Jake far more than he loved me (in a teenager sense). Towards the end of our relationship, my d...
